For some, Holiday Season is that time to be surrounded by family, attend gatherings with friends and reminisce about what it was like growing up in a loving household, reflecting on the beauty and sweet nostalgia of the beautiful family traditions.
For others, Holiday Season symbolizes a time of triggers, sad memories, and painful reflections. The moment the calendar marks the last month of the year, it’s like the funk starts to hover over and doesn’t leave until February.
Somewhere in between, you have those who are half excited but also half annoyed about what this Season will bring. Somewhere in between, you also have those who don’t give a flying donut about what is going on; they are simply removed from the fact that the holidays are here.
Regardless of what category you fall into, the holidays don’t have to be that bad. You can prepare yourself for whatever curveball may be thrown at you this winter, or if you’re already in good spirits since Thanksgiving, you may want to ‘maintain’ that calm and bright attitude.
Here are a Five tips to keep in mind when dealing with those triggers, whether they are human, memories, or fears from the unknown:
1. EXPAND YOUR POSSIBILITIES
Keep in mind this is not your first rodeo, and you’ve been through the holiday season many times already. You can hone in on some memories that trigger you and expect similar outcomes, or you can start entertaining and reminding yourself of the possibility of ‘What if this year everything will be different”? By asking yourself this question, you’re interrupting the flow of the past and opening to a new possible outcome.
2. REHASH THE GOOD PAST
Have you ever experienced a moment where you felt calm, collected, bright, joyful, and at ease? I bet it probably wasn’t during the holiday season if you’re triggered by it. But hear me out – just because you’ve experienced those emotions during a different time doesn’t mean you cannot rehash the good feelings now, during the holiday season! Emotions are energy, and they don’t care what time of the year it is. You can be sad in the middle of the summer or happy in the middle of the Holiday Season! So go into your memory bank and start pulling out those good memories deposits. Take them out one-by-one, and give them your undivided attention. If nothing else, at least you will feel much, much better!
3. GO BACK TO BASICS
Are you striving to make the ‘perfect’ holiday? If you’re like me, a recovering perfectionist, you probably do your best and leave it alone. But if you were me just a few years ago, you’d put so much pressure on yourself, trying to make the perfect holidays and food, trying to please everyone, and in the process, totally burying your wants and needs. Go back to basics: always do your best, and don’t take someone else’s dissatisfaction personally. Your only responsibility is YOU. Feel good first - then you won’t need to rely on others to feel good based on what you do for them.
4. STAY DETACHED AND CHANGE THE MEANING
Family, family, family. If you can look at those family feuds as something to help you grow, skip this tip. But if you are like a majority that contemplates not even coming ‘home’ for the holidays in order to avoid conflict, then continue to read. You cannot be responsible for others’ insecurities, fears, negative emotions, or unhappiness. Train yourself to stay detached, knowing that ‘their perception’ is theirs, and you don’t have to own it because it is not yours. Instead of putting a meaning to what those around you say, attach a new meaning – a meaning that says, ‘my mother is on a different page than I am, and that’s OK. We don’t have to agree on everything, in fact, we can both have different opinions on things. Neither of us is right or wrong; it’s just a difference in opinion. And if my mother wants to prove a point with which I disagree, I can let her say what’s on her mind without trying to argue because I’d rather be happy than right.
5. SHIFT YOUR PERCEPTION
From the beginning of December, start to ‘prepare’ yourself emotionally and energetically for the Holidays. Please make a list of things you appreciate about your family, about spending time with them, about who those people are as humans. What do you appreciate about them and why? Are they hard-working people? Are they doing their best with what they are given? Once you start viewing them from a different angle, your perception will shift. And if you add something good to your rising vibration, your holidays will take a different shape and form than those in the past.
I wish to list all the possible tips, but these are the main ones that create triggers and unease when it comes to holidays. Let me know if these tips were helpful or what other triggers you’re dealing with and would like some help with.